New Year’s Eve is approaching, and you know what that means: people making lofty public resolutions they have no intention of keeping past Jan. 3.

I’m as bad as anyone. I always resolve to stop looking at my phone, read more poetry, lose a bit of weight, dunk a basketball, fight a shark, build a pinball machine, patent a flying car, fight another shark, and win an Oscar, and you know what? None of it ever happens, not even the Oscar.

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